So I voted today, for the first time in my life. Here's the way I see it:
Conservatives: They fucked up the country massively these past five years, yet claim they've rebuilt a broken nation. So many bad decisions and completely ignoring obvious potential improvements. They can go and suck my cock.
Labour: Pandering to the really touchy people. Miliband said he would make 'Islamophobia' a heinous crime should he come into power. Because he hasn't made it clear what exactly Islamophobia is, it means that potentially silly little 'fuck you's could be seen as a hate crime and give you years in prison. So Labour can go fuck themselves.
LibDem: It wasn't called the Coalition government for nothing you know. The LibDems helped Conservatives fuck the nation. So fuck the LibDem's too.
UKIP: DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING INSANE?!
Green: Well, it was either these guys or spoil the ballot. I reckon its time for someone else to have a go at leading the country